These are the type of mornings I'm wide awake. It's 7 am, I'm ready for the day, which happens to be a soaking wet & rainy one. Brian and Brady are still asleep and I didn't sleep a wink. Halfway because everything on my body aches when I try to sleep these days, and the other half because I have this guilty feeling lately that parenting is way more than we're capable of.
I know no parent is perfect, and children are born ready to be molded into civilized little beings. Lately that doesn't even seem tangible. I know it's a phase. Brady will pass right through it, and I'll forget about these long, exhausting days in a year or two. How is it that a 24 year old can feel controlled by an 18 month old?! These reasons are what my tired brain has come up with: I love that child more than life itself. What parent doesn't want to enjoy every second with their little one? It's time that parenting and discipline come before playtime. Bummer. Second, I don't want to spank. (Not that he even notices the sting, that rough little boy.) I would love for time-out to do the trick. Brady's ways are way beyond my knowledge...I never thought the day would come when it would truly be difficult to even think of a solution.
You must be laughing, whether you've raised children or not. I feel so lost! I've heard most parents go through this, which does make me feel better. And not so crazy. At the end of the day, I want to know I'm leading Brady in the right direction and doing what's best for him, even if it is making him stand in a corner. (I can't wait for the days where I can make him write 100 times what he did wrong. I think mom always got a kick out of that!) So...here's another new day. One cup of coffee in my system. And a long workday ahead. My sweet Marcy is already getting the raw end of the deal...
The truth is- Every mother is crazy. Even a lady at the grocery store yesterday noticed. She simply said "I hope your day gets better." And all I could do was laugh. We're all crazy! Trying to hold on to what's left of yourself, after giving everything you've got to your children, husband, work, home...and then remembering you've got another bun in the oven that's due right in the eye of the storm.
The terrible two's.
And from all these messy, crazy words you've read, I want you to know one thing...
I wouldn't trade this wonderful life for anything in the world.
If you're not a mother just yet...you juuuuust wait. You'll be just as crazy as all of us crazies one day.
love reading your musings on motherhood. even from far away (and even only through photos!) i can tell you're such a good mama :)
ReplyDeleteI think perseverance and consistency are some of the hardest things about being a mother. Praise the Lord that He is, in His being, both. We can rest in Him. Asking him to make us more like Him daily through our parenting. The joys and the woes. Even though we know there is much more JOY than woe!
ReplyDeleteThat little man is so cute.